(parenthesis)

Lately Caleb had been really into "I can't" as much as he's been into "I wanna do it".  I'm not really sure what it's about.  Most of the time, he's saying he can't do stuff that he most definately can do.  Things he does all the time, like climbing into bed.  Sometimes it goes into the realm of the ridiculous.  For example, when he's reaching for something, instead of extending his entire arm, he'll tuck his elbows in and only really reach with his hand.  "I can't get it!  I can't get it!"

At my last OB appointment he did something like that, and my doctor (who is a family practicioner) said something about it being part of establishing his independence.  To me it seems more like hanging on to his dependence... I mean, if I think he can't do something, of course I'm going to help him.  Not that there's anything bad about him being dependent.  He's three years old, he'd better depend on me (and Dad).  I want to help him.  Part of my helping him is teaching him how to do things and cheering him on while he figures them out.  So when he tells me I can't, and I know he really can, often I encourage him by saying something like, "Oh, I think you can!  Try (again)!"  And when he acheives it, I say, "I knew you could do it!"  If it's something he really needs help with, I'll ask if he needs my help.

A thought just struck me.  He substitutes "can't" for "don't" when he says he doens't like or want something.  Maybe he's trying to say he doesn't want to do whatever it is I'm asking him to do.  Hmm, possible.

Anyway...

This goes along with something else that's been going on.  He will often say that he's the baby, talk baby talk, and want to be held in a baby-holding position.  He pretends a lot, he's often Dora or Diego or some sort of animal, so it could just be part of pretending.  But with the baby coming soon, I am leaning toward it being about seeing all the baby things out again, and being told he's too big for most of it, and talk about Brother in general.

When we talk about babies, I tell him that babies don't know how to talk, so they cry to let us know what they need.  He can list (in his cute "listing" voice) that babies cry when their hungry, thirsty, tired, etc.  I use that time to tell him that since he's not a baby anymore, he can use his words so I know what he wants and needs.  I add that I use my words to tell him things too.

I'm really puzzled as to where he got the baby talk.  We haven't baby talked him since he learned "Dada" and "Mama".  Those are the only babyish things we probably EVER said to him.  But he's got quite a babyish vocabulary.  He usually starts off with regular language and the sentence will degenerate into things like baba, gaga, ahdada, etc.  And something about the way he says it, it can be grating on the nerves since we know he knows how to say the words!   So I ask in a very puzzled tone, "What's that?  I don't understand what you're saying."  Usually he'll repeat the gibberish once or twice before using English again.

He also climbs into the crib and plays with the mobile and bouncy chair that is in the crib.  I'm leaning toward this being curious behavior, maybe recognizing the items from when he used them.  (The crib was his toddler bed not too long ago.)  But when we walk in the room, he says he's the baby.  Maybe he thinks that if he's the baby, he'll be allowed to play with these new-like items.

All in all, I'm not terribly concerned.  I know that toddlers go through stuff when a new baby is brought into the picture.  Probably any age of child will go through some behavior that is puzzling to the parents.  We're not pressing the potty training right now for that reason.  We try to talk about the baby positively.  When he mashes my belly climbing over me, I take great care to let him know he's hurting ME and don't mention the baby; I don't want him to start resenting the poor little guy before he's even born.  Same thing when he wants me to carry him in a store, I tell him that Mommy just can't carry him because it makes my back hurt.  I try to hold him as much as I can, sit with him on the couch, hug and kiss him, cuddle with him in bed, and hold his hand when we're walking so he still gets plenty of physical contact - and so do I.  Heaven knows there will come a time when he won't want his mommy cuddling and smooching him anymore!

So please tell me this "I can't" when he can and "I'm the baby" are manifestations of developmental progress, so I can be encouraged instead of stumped.