Over the last few weeks, people have started asking me if I'm "ready to have the baby." The tone of the question lends itself more to asking if I'm tired of being pregnant and ready to be done with it, rather than asking if I'm prepared for when the baby arrives.
So when somebody asks, I say something like, "I'm ready, but not too ready." Sometimes I add, "I still have a __ weeks to go." If the question is from a total stranger (which is often is), I leave it at that. I don't feel like I need to go into the story of why I would never wish to have another baby early. Now I said that I leave it at that. But the inquirer does not always...
Some people (often women) insist that I look "ready to pop" (which is such a gross and inaccurate term in my opinion) and therefore there is no way I could possibly go __ more weeks. I got this as early as 6 months into my pregnancy. I also got a lot of "my [friend/sister/cousin] is as big as you, and she's due any minute now," which is great because of three things.
(a) The friend/sister/cousin in question MUST be identical to me in build, height, and carriage.
(b) The person speaking must have secretly measured me before I was pregnant as well as accurately estimated the amount of growth in my abdomen since that time.
(c) S/he must have also done this with said friend/sister/cousin
I also take great offense to the "as big as you," which implies (to me) that I am so huge. Would you ever tell a woman who is not pregnant that so-and-so is "AS BIG" as her?? Don't even start with me the "big as a house" metaphor (I have yet to receive this, but I am aware that many women have). You just don't say that to somebody's face, I don't care if they are big or not. Why do people's manner's go out the window when they are talking to a pregnant woman?
Let me get sidetracked a little more by asking why people think it's ok to ask, "Were you trying to get pregnant?" I'm not asking about a close friend asking, I'm talking about every Joe (and Joan) on the planet. What kind of reply would be satisfying? "Sure thing, we were gettin' it on like rabbits!" "Not at all, we were just gettin' it on like usual and the condom broke." Personally, I prefer to go for tact, but I wonder if I supplied one of the above (fictional) answers, would the person continue to barrage expectant mothers with personal questions?
Back to how big or not I am... Since we are all apparently ok talking about my reproductive capacity... The Pregnancy Weight Gain Estimator on Babycenter.com, which is created with data from the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, says this about me based on my height and prepregnancy weight:
Over the last two trimesters you should gain about 5 lbs. every 4 weeks. If you gained the average of the range above, this is where the weight would go (totals are rounded):
- Uterus 2.82 lbs.
- Breasts 1.17
- Blood 3.64
- Water 4.89
- Fat 9.74
Fetal:
- Fetus 7.5
- Placenta 1.89
- Amniotic Fluid 2.32
Total 33.97
*As of today, I've gained 26lb, and I'd say that's right on track. (FYI: For an average woman carrying one baby, the recommended weight gain is 25-35lb.)
So, getting back to the original point of this post:
- Our home is ready to take in a new (teeny-tiny) family member.
- I am emotionally PREPARED to have this baby. (Just don't ask me what his name is, I don't know yet). Sure, there are some discomforts (some lower back pain, heartburn, and the squirming of a live human being who just barely fits inside of me), but
- He's physiologically NOT READY to be born.
- I love being pregnant, and I'll even be a little sad when it's over.
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